I saw quite a shocking picture this week. It was taken by a wedding photographer friend of mine during a church of England church wedding ceremony.
The Church in question had charged the happy couple a total of £670 to get married there and led them to believe that photography during the ceremony, from the back of the church would not be a problem. On the day however the Vicar turned the tables and banned any photography from the official photographers. This happens all to often and we always inform our couples that whatever happens at the Church we are in effect in the hands of not only the Vicar but the church warden as to what, if anything they will permit on the day.
So my redundant friend sat in with the congregation. Noticing however that several guests were taking photos using a variety of cameras from mobile phones through small digital cameras to more serious amateur cameras he decided it would do no halm to take a picture of the kiss after the couple were pronounced man and wife from his position in the congregation at the back of the church using a long lens with no flash.
A gentleman several rows in front of him also had the same idea. Whilst the lingering kiss was taking place the Vicar noticing the gentleman in front of my friend appears in the picture my friend took to articulate a “V” sign behinds the brides head. My friends shot clearly shows him glaring behind the couple – who were totally oblivious to any of this and putting two fingers in the air! How disgraceful is that? The Vicar had not requested the guests to refrain from photography and the guest concerned was naturally very upset at what had happened.
Whilst we’re on the subject of photography in church, allow me to share with you a letter received recently from a church in West Yorkshire who again had indicated to the happy couple that photography would be no problem provided it was without flash and from the back of the church. This letter was given to the couple to pass on to us two days before the wedding at their rehearsal:
Dear Photographer
We understand that you are to act as the official photographer at a wedding in our Benefice, and hope that this letter will give you all the information that you will need.
Before the marriage service:
1. The bridegroom and best man have been requested to see me (or the officiating priest) in church thirty minutes before the service begins. Please take any photographs of them before this time.
2. Photographs of the bridesmaids should be taken before they arrive at the church porch where they are due ten minutes before the service. They have been asked not to wait at the gateway for the bride.
3. The bride should be arriving a few minutes before the service, and only two photographs should be taken of her from the time of her arrival in the car to the start of the service. Other photographs can be posed afterwards. During the service:No photographs, except for two at the signing of the register, which usually takes place at the end of the service.After the service:No restrictions as to number. Weddings are usually booked at two-hourly intervals which means you should have time to take all the photographs you need.
We hope you find these notes helpful.
Yours sincerely
The Rev’d (name deleted for privacy)
Priest-in-charge
I should explain that it only takes one bad apple photographer to be silly and disrespectful in church to spoil things for everyone. We have heard horror stories of photographers literally crawling along pews and then popping up, flashing away to get their shot and then going off somewhere else like a ninja turtle. We’ve even been told of one photographer who took a picture over the shoulder of the Vicar of the passage in the bible he was trying to read at the time. Clearly this is unacceptable behaviour. We do not behave like this.
If we are lucky we are sometimes allowed to have one of us in the choirstalls or front of the church and the other at the back. We don’t use flash and remain as unobtrusive as possible – taking photographs during the hymn singing for example and of course of the first married kiss. We do like to take a picture of the rings being pushed into place if possible but do not click away during the exchanging of the vows. Some church officials can be like Rottweilers however…..
In the instance of the couple outlined above they requested that the brides uncle – who was higher up in the Church heirachy and from a neighbouring parish be allowed to marry them. Reluctantly and on the threat of the service being cancelled (so the church losing several hundreds of pounds they were gaining from the couple) the church agreed. It was deemed that I would be “allowed” to be in the choirstalls since the brides Uncle had sanctioned this.
On the day however the Vicar from the parish’s wife (hope you are keeping up here!) was determined our couple were to have no photography from the front at it “set a precedent for other couples”. So she literally shoved me in the back row, darkest corner of the choirstalls, totally hemmed in by the 3 baritones! By this time I had gathered that this church had in it’s congregation some of the most uncharitable “Christians” I had ever met.
I am a ley preachers daughter as it happens. I was brought up going to church 2 or 3 times every Sunday without exception. I am very respectful of the church and the solemnity of marriage. So this is how the conversation went between the Vicar’s wife and myself after she had “stuffed” me into the pew:
I asked her politely if I could move positions. “no – you go where I tell you she says and you will be staying there because there are three baritones sitting next to you. You won’t be able to move.” She was right – I couldn’t.
So I smiled sweetly and said “Ok then I’ll just have to sing.” “What do you mean you’ll just have to sing?” “Well, I’m in the choirstalls, as agreed to take a couple of photos of the marriage. Since you’re making it impossible for me to do that I will just do what everyone else in the choirstalls will be doing – sing.”
“You can’t sing” she says, horrified. “Why not?” I ask. “Well what are you? You’re in with the baritones. If you aren’t a baritone you will spoil all our balance.” “I’ve no idea” I say “…but I’ll do my best to sing very loud and in tune – help the congregation to get going. I know most of the words I hear them that often each week in church. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Will quite enjoy it being able to sing along with no pressure.”
She’s now going red in the face. “So you go to church every week then?” “Yes – more or less every week. I’ve picked up most of the hymns by now ” then I launch into the most tuneless rendition of “Lord of the Dance” you’ve ever heard. She looks mortified.
“You see – I take much better photographs than the way I sing but since I’m not taking photographs there’s only one thing I can do and that is to sing.” She looks very embarassed by now and visibly flustered. So I carry on…”It’s ironic really because my singing is much louder than my camera going off. Still as I said I’ll enjoy it.”
Before we get any further with our discussions the videographer arrives and sets up his excessively large tripod right in the middle in front of the altar.
“You can’t put that there…..” she starts. “Is he with you?” she hisses at me. “No – not at all so I’ve no idea what his singing voice is like but I’m sure it won’t be anything like mine” I say.
So she toddles off to sort him out.
Meanwhile I get myself into a slightly better position and do get some shots of my couple.
And yes – I did sing – all the way through actually.
It’s all in a days work as they say.